With loving kindness

Clarity appears in the quiet places, so I’m sitting with myself and my strengths and failings tonight. We are often hardest on ourselves.

Trying to treat myself with kindness as my first priority. When I’m too hard on myself it leads to some seriously unhealthy behaviours, the least of which has left me with more than a few gnarly scars.

I think this past few weeks I’ve been playing a game of how much wine can I drink in the shortest space of time.

I don’t drink often, but when I do I never do it by halves…


Me after a few wines – everyone I’ve ever met TOTALLY wants to talk to me!

#sorryteam

It’s been 7 weeks (🙀) since my surgery to remove the big-ass ovarian cysts and endo that I’d developed and I honestly don’t remember the last time I’ve felt this amazing.

It seems like if you’re truly happy you shouldn’t need to tell people you’re happy, but I’ve spent so long struggling with health (physical and mental) that now that I’m in a good place I want to scream it from the rooftops.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about creating peace and balance within myself and my life. It’s been a focus to safeguard my heart and soul while I’ve been healing.

I’m not completely strong again yet, and it still feels like a light tap could crack the glass. But my wonderful yoga teacher said something a while ago that has stuck with me.

We don’t find balance, we create it.

We must make space in our lives to allow the balance in.

I’ve been learning so much though. Clarity appears in the quiet places. I’m not quiet often, but I’m trying.

The first tattoo I ever got reads Serenity. Some people keep important notes in their phones. I like to ink them on my body 😜

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

It’s a well-known prayer (often known as the AA prayer, ironically enough), but I prefer to remove the religion from it and keep it as a mantra. I wanted to keep a reminder of acceptance as I was only just coming to terms with being raped about two years earlier.

Religion has been a topic of much conversation lately. I was raised Catholic, but my parents never really practiced. Both sets of my grandparents were/are strong Catholics though.

I choose to believe in the strength of the universe. The loving energy and power that nourishes us all. There is much that cannot be explained in the world, but the greatest question to me is “why?”

Not how do things work, but why do they work? Why do they happen when and as they do?

In my humble and constantly learning opinion, it’s love ❤️

Love drives us all. Love saves us all. Love nourishes us and we are all divinely loved. No matter your beliefs, you should believe that.

This is my favourite photo – Milly in the background like WTF lady 😹 I had a gate tattooed over my heart/solar plexus chakras as an attempt to keep the good energy in. Closing those has never been easy and my energy always escapes all over the show. Trying to keep and create some balance between what I feel, what I share with the world, and what I let influence me.

The world is a beautiful place, but there is a lot of pain. How do we live a gentle life, surrounded by sharp edges? How do you acknowledge and try and relieve some of the sadness, without absorbing it?

I set an intention for myself daily, nightly, and with each practice

With loving kindness should one do all things

Do the best you can. It’s all we can do.
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